Hello guys! I know it’s been a minute but I’m back and ready for y’all.
Ok!! So I recently cut my natural hair and I’m now rocking life as a baldie.July 31st wasn’t my first time cutting my hair, the first time i cut my hair was in September 2018 but I did this because of the heat that period and it was a perfect excuse to start my natural hair journey.
But on July 31st I had a totally different reason(s) to cut my hair; it was a whole totally different scenario. I have gone through a lot of things in my life and from September 2019 to July 2020(this year), I had alot of sad and depressive moments and totally had a lot of mental breakdowns. The experiences I had, though, I won’t go deep into them killed my spirit alot also.
Not only was my self-esteem totally fluctuating but the lows were 80% and highs were 20%.I used pampering my hair and touching and playing with the hair to get my mind off things most times while most times I made my hair just so I could hide to feel safer.
I really don’t know if y’all can relate though.
The attachment between my hair and all my heartbreaking and depressive moments did feel high and though the life lessons were strong and did make me amateur and stronger I needed to feel free and grow as a person. I wanted to feel new and finally move on, also to stop sitting in the sad depressive moments and learn to move forward. July was the height of the heartbreak and depression and also was a turning point for me.
Not only did I cut my hair to mark the end of that girl that existed before and feel brand new, I cut my hair to get detached from all those moments and finally mark the beginning of me pushing through and saying NO! I am not going to be a mentally disturbed person anymore, I am not going to hide my face in shame anymore, I am not going to be that girl who drowned in sorrow and wants the world to lift her instead of her trying to do that herself.
I wanted to be a new person, the girl who saw her worth, who walked with pride, who wasn’t going to feel beautiful because someone said so but because she knows so and she see’s it. I didn’t want a hair to hide with again also. I was willing to not just pick my lessons and move forward but move forward with pride and self confidence that was overwhelming.
I did a three day fast, I cleansed myself (or like I would like to say, I killed and purged the old me out and embraced a new version of myself). I cut my hair to signify the new me and I did feel liberated and new. I’m not saying I’m fully perfect but I’m far from that girl I used to be then also.
When I cut my hair I did indeed feel more beautiful. And the fact that it was against the normal way society saw beauty just made me feel more like a queen cause I also I realized that beauty wasn’t in long hair but in the soul and the spirit of a person.
The fun part is I am always anxious to go to the barbing salon. I love the feeling of cutting my hair and looking neat. I love my new look so much that I don’t want to grow my hair back anytime soon.
And to every baldie out there who cut their hair willing or because of other reasons, you’re beautiful!!!!! Stay happy and stay blessed peeps.